Episode 63: Blessings Be Upon You

Why Is This Man Smiling?
When a Jew goes before God, the Talmud says that the first question he is asked is "Were you honest in your business dealings?" What will be the reply of Bernard L. Madoff? Where will he then be directed to spend eternity? Assuming he believes in such things, how does he sleep at night, let alone smile during the day? Who populates his dreams? Does he give a thought to the thousands, perhaps millions, of people whose lives he has destroyed? How does he square what he has done with his purported religious convictions?

Catching On, Very Slowly

Maybe the turning point was when the clueless heads of the Big Three each took their private jets to D.C. to beg bailouts. Turned away, they came back by car.

Some of the nation's CEOs took the hint. Citibank's top execs, for example, turned down their scheduled bonuses, as well they might. No doubt they took note of the reaction to the actions of the boys at AIG, who held a retreat at a luxury resort less than a week after the insurance group dragooned an $85 billion bailout loan from you and me and our children and grandchildren.

And, there was John Thain. He replaced the former head of Merrill Lynch last year after a multi-billion-dollar loss. He got a $15 million signing bonus. A few months later, he arranged a merger with the Bank of America. A few weeks after that, Merrill received $10 billion from the Feds and the Bank of America wangled $15 billion. THEN, Thain asked for a $10 million bonus from his board.

What can he have been thinking? Andrew Cuomo stabbed a shard of reality into Thain's life. The bonus was unacceptable, Andy intoned, with dark implications of what might happen if the CEO didn't retreat. Thain allowed that the Attorney General might have something there. He withdrew his request and slunk back to his 15-bedroom house in Connecticut.

Now the capper: Peter Krause, a senior executive at Merrill Lynch for only three months before the Bank of America buyout, received a golden parachute of $25 million. He used part of that as a down payment for a pied-a-terre on Park Avenue. It comes with five bedrooms, three maids' rooms, a library, and a gym.

Praise the Lord we live in a country and culture fashioned by our Judeo-Christian value system. Otherwise, who knows what moral and criminal depredations might have been visited upon us.

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Video Alerts

Line up to take a last shot at Dubya before he slinks away. Charles brought http://www.sockandawe.com/ to Geezer's attention.

Then set aside ten minutes to see and hear Robin Williams' priceless take on the election at http://politicalirony.com/2008/11/30/robin-williams-on-obamas-election/ (Thanks, Bob.)

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Speaking of Capitalist Scum

Alleged "conceptual artist" Damien Hirst is a charlatan of such epic proportions as to render Andy Warhol, the previous champ, no more a flim-flam specialist than Grandma Moses. If you have been fortunate enough to slide past the hype of his work and personna, be it known that Hirst has re-cast galleries, museums, and corporate suites all over Europe and America as surreal necropoli.

Hirst is famous for enbalming animal carcasses in tanks of formaldahyde, you see. A sheep in the Crucifixion position is one, a half of an entire steer sliced down the middle from snout to tail, another. Hirst's best-known "work" is a dead shark, similarly entombed, with the supremely pretentious title "The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living".

It's hardly news that artists have long tried to gain attention and commissions by outraging public sensibilities, especially in the 2oth Century. What is baffling is the credulity displayed by hyper-rich patrons (that's Bill Gates up there) and panting museum administrators, presumably otherwise intelligent, well-educated folk who eagerly stuff wads of money into Hirst's pockets.

In September 2008, an auction of his obscenities brought in $125 million. That famous rotting shark was purchased by a hedge-fund billionaire. There was speculation that he would install his prize in his Stamford, CT office - how apt for a gaggle of traders who can't stop moving or they'll die. Instead, it can now be viewed at the Metropolitan Museum of Art - your $20 admission fees at work.

This isn't just cranky Geezer's take on this outrage. Said equally cranky critic Robert Hughes: "If there is anything special about this event, it lies in the extreme disproportion between Hirst's prices and his actual talent. Hirst is a pirate."

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To Our Middle-Aged Children

Do you have a will yet? A living will? A health care proxy? Long-term health care insurance?

Why the hell not?

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Episode 62: 'Tis The Season

...To Tally What The Righteous Have Done For Us Lately
We've been distracted, what with wars, a year-long campaign, economic turbulence, and big-haired governors from Alaska and Illinois. Here's how true believers have been otherwise engaged.
*In a region of Somalia controlled by the radical Islamist group Shabab, a young woman was

buried up to her neck and stoned to death for alleged adultery. Human rights activists declared that, on the contrary, she had been raped.

*The Archbishop of Canterbury apparently hadn't heard about that manifestation of Islamic law. He come up with a really bad idea - calling for Great Britain to adopt aspects of Shariah law to operate alongside the existing legal system.

*In April, and again in November, Greek Orthodox and Armenian monks came to blows in the mutually revered Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem, believed by both to be the site of the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. Police were called to quell the violence. Six Christian sects share control of the church.
They can't agree on much of anything.

*Nigeria is not only the source of the most transparent e-mail fraud schemes in cyberspace. A few weeks ago, Christian and Muslim mobs, protesting local election results, killed over 400 people thought to be of one or the other faith. At least 7,000 others were made homeless as houses, churches, and mosques were burned to the ground.




*Kosher ethics took a beating at that meatpacking plant in Postville, Iowa, where the supervising rabbis were accused of employing under-age illegal immigrants and driving them through twelve-hour shifts without overtime pay and sometimes reneging on compensation promised. These men of G-D screamed constantly at the workers, demanding that they work ever faster. Safety measures, as with shields for cutting blades, were often ignored.

*Back in the Promised Land, right-wing Jewish occupants of an illegal West Bank settlement had to be dragged away by soldiers. They maintain their right to be there based on scripture stipulating that Judea and Sumeria were bequeathed to them by God in perpetuity. Never mind that their continued presence in the occupied territory ensures that there will never be peace between Israel and her neighbors.

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"Morality is doing what is right no matter what you're told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right."

- Unknown

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*God WILL be with you in the foxhole and the gun turret, if the commanders and faculties of our three service academies have any say about it. Proponents of Evangelical Christianity deliver prayers daily at the compulsory lunches at the Naval Academy. Nine midshipmen had the courage to protest. Fugedabowdit. An Academy spokesman replied that it does "not intend to change its practice of offering midshipmen an opportunity for prayer" at meals. Similar complaints have been made about the Military and Air Force Academies leadership. In his farewell speech to the Corps of Cadets at West Point, General Robert Caslen intoned, "Draw your strength in the days ahead from your faith in God. Let it be the moral compass that guides you." Atheists, agnostics, and the merely uncommitted clearly fall short of sturdy officer material.
*Evangelical Protestants never fail to condemn those who don't hew to their own convictions. James C. Dobson of Focus on the Family has accused Barack Obama of having "a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution" - meaning not Dobson's. "I think," he continued, proving he doesn't, "he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology." Meaning not Dobson's.

*After Proposition 8 passed in California, specifying that marriage is exclusively between a man and woman, Mormons were hurt and dismayed that gay activists were unhappy that the Church of Latterday Saints was a constituency in vigorous support of the proposition. In line with the views of most religionists, C.L.S. members believe they have the absolute right to impose their ecclesiastical views on society. They aren't so vocal about all their goofy convictions, such as their belief that Jesus will return to earth and build a new Jerusalem in Jackson County, Missouri.

*We can always count on the minions of the Vatican to exercise their gift for clueless hypocrisy. Cardinal Edward Egan of New York, who has managed to stand even farther to the right than his immediate predecessor, assailed the administration of Jesuit-run Fordham University for awarding Justice Stephen G. Breyer an ethics prize. This expressed indignation was solely for Breyer's majority opinion striking down Nebraska's ban on late-term abortion, ignoring the breath and depth of the justice's career dealing with many profound issues. That The One True Church continues to present itself as a font of impeccable morality in the face of the hundreds of pedophile priests who have ruined the lives of untold thousands of trusting parishioners in countries throughout the Catholic world is beyond rationalization. It must rankle Egan and his brothers of the cloth that a majority of Catholics voted for Obama and increasingly support a woman's right to choose what is done to her body.

Goodwill to all who persist in believing - despite resounding evidence to the contrary - that religion is a force for peace and love in the world, not one of repression, intolerance, violence, and hatred.

Happy holidays.

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"Barack thinks with his mind open. Larry thinks with his mouth open."
-Harvard Professor Charles Ogletree, commenting on the appointment by President-elect Obama of Lawrence H. Summers as his top economic advisor

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For foodies like us, coming to grips with current economic travails tends to focus on eating and drinking. Our early efforts include resolving to eschew $300 restaurant meals and developing a taste for boxed wines.

Our dining-out strategies include (1) drinking our customary cocktails at home, (2) avoiding multi-course fixed price meals, (3) confining ourselves to a sharing an appetizer, ordering two entrees and skipping dessert.

We put these strategies to use when we again borrowed the Manhattan apartment of our son the computer genius. An advantage of seeking out less expensive restaurants is that the quest takes you down streets into neighborhoods that you may have avoided in the past, especially when they project a youthful or scary or merely beaten vibe. That way are new discoveries made.

One was Hummus Place, 109 St. Mark's Place (bet. Ave. A & 1st Ave.) 212-529-9198. Back when Geezer worked in Greenwich Village, decades ago, this street led into darkest East Village, a street of pimps, addicts, hustlers, and motorcycle gangs. Now, it is a bohemian cacophony of bright lights and nonthreatening exotica and two-legged fauna. We found the narrow storefront eatery easily (north side of the street). First, take the name seriously. Hummus is what they serve. No fish, no pasta, no meat. What you get is a flat soup bowl ringed with a fat ribbon of the signature substance, surrounding a heap of vegetables - chickpeas, mushrooms, fava beans, and not much else. Falafel is the most popular appetizer, abetted by stuffed grape leaves and quinoa salad. All are served with hot, fresh, pillow-y pitas. While the very limited decor suggests Moroccan origins, the staff and ownership are Israeli. Wine and beer are served. The lunch special goes for $7.50. Our dinner tab came to $45, all included. Open daily for lunch and dinner.

We've tended to stay away from the Meatpacking District - way too trendy. On a cold wet Sunday night after Thanksgiving, though, it figured to be less trammeled. Our choice was Fatty Crab, 643 Hudson St. (bet. Gansevoort & Horatio Sts.), 212-352-3590. Another storefront location, tables are compacted into the narrow space, with one wall of exposed brick. On this occasion, three vases of amarilis blossoms provided color in the candlelit gloom. The food is labeled Malaysian, an elastic category given that the menu includes a brace of juicy pork sliders.

There is a decidedly Asian slant, though, including a green mango salad, Chinese broccoli with salted fish, shrimp and pork wontons with fried noodles, and coconut poached bass. The short "Snacks" list substitutes for appetizers, where only one item - pork ribs - costs more than $9. Mains were all under $20, except for "Short Rib Rendang", at $25. Service is "family style", meaning it comes to the table as soon as the kitchen sets it out. The result is a great deal of sharing. Everything is so tantalizing, so piquant in flavor and texture, the temptation is to order far more than necessary to fill up. The adjacent table of four ordered at least twelve separate dishes and were working on their third bottle of wine. We understood, but pretty much stuck to our resolves. Our bill came to $83.55, all in. Open daily for lunch and dinner. Full bar service. No reservations.

Korean food is yet another of those Asian cuisines of which I am fond and intrigued but don't know well. That being the case, I can't respond authoritatively to those blog and Zagat reviewers who are unkind about Dok Suni's, 119 First Ave. (bet. St-Mark's Place & 7th St.), 212-477-9506, so I'll settle for telling them they're full of it. You don't get to critique this edgy East Village place on level ground with the likes of pricey Korean fusion giant Momofuku Saam Bar, not when a filling, satisfying meal can be had here for well under $100 for four! I know enough to understand that authenticity is not the kitchen's primary concern, there being decidedly Western touches here and there. Strict observance of traditional preparations has never been high among my considerations. So are the juicy, crisp vegetables piled atop mounds of rice in the dish called bibimbap the same to be found in downtown Seoul? I don't care. It was most satisfying. There are no in-table grills here, as in other Korean places, but I didn't miss them, as I'm not all that anxious to cook my own food when I eat out. The marinated, boneless, aromatic, grilled beef dish called bulgoli stilled the protein cravings just fine. Back home across the Pacific, kimchi is cabbage in vinegar stuffed in a pot and buried in the backyard for a few months. Here, I don't know the procedure, but their version is a treat for fans of pickled veggies. Do try the scallion pancakes (pajun) and the thin-skinned dumplings. The music is loud, the decor limited, service the luck of the draw. No reservations, cash only.

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Italian Sausage with White Beans and Tomatoes

This takes about an hour in the oven but requires very little prep. It's also relatively low-cal, at under 500 calories per serving.
Serves 3-4

One pound sweet Italian turkey sausage cut into two-inch pieces

One pint cherry tomatoes.
One medium onion, sliced in half-moons
2 garlic cloves, peeled and minced
1-2 extra-virgin olive oil
One tablespoon balsamic vinegar
One teaspoon dried thyme leaves, crumbled
One bay leaf
Salt & pepper to taste
One 16-ounce can of white beans, drained and rinsed

Pre-heat the oven at 425 degrees. Toss all ingredients except the beans together in a roasting pan or casserole. Place in the oven at the lowest rack. Roast until sausages brown, about 30-40 minutes. The tomatoes and onions should have become a thick sauce. Stir in the beans and, if needed, up to a quarter-cup of chicken broth or water. Return to oven and cook until beans are heated through, about 10 minutes.
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