Episode 77: Listings

The Supremes have just handed down the judgement that coroprations and lobbyists cannot be restrained in their spending in political campaigns. Your opinions? Your needs? Forget them. They will be buried under avalanches of money. Five nasty old men have disenfranchised you. Thank Dubya for yet another triumph of the Dark Side. He appointed the last two right-wing justices, sustaining the Court's concrete conservative tilt.

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If you weren't paying attention, the Democrats' painfully fragile 60-40 supermajority swirled around the bowl Tuesday with the election of the slightly weird Republican Scott Brown (he repeatedly announced that his two daughters were "available" - for what?) to Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts Senate seat. The ramifications are predictable. There was, however, one bright spot in the deepening gloom. Democrats don't have to suck up to Joe Lieberman anymore. No longer crucial to them, he's been demoted to irrelevant Number 59.

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Definitions

Tinsel: Worm mirrors.

Construction crew: Four guys watching a fifth guy work.

A person without convictions: Political Independent.

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Like, Whatever

A recent Marist College poll assembled the phrases found most annoying to Americans. "Whatever" topped the list, followed by "anyway", "it is what it is", and "at the end of the day." Allow me to volunteer additions:

"Y'know what I'm sayin'?"

"Not so much."

"Think outside the box."

"Going forward."

"I could care less."

"Across The Pond."

"What I'm talkin' about."

"My bad."

"Back in the day."

Feel free to offer, like, other candidates. They will be mentioned in an upcoming episode.

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Yoga Makes You Stupid

Billed as the "Christmas Gift of the Year!", the latest Swedish fad was a nail bed. Yes, a variation of the device employed by Hindu fakirs. This version involved a foam rubber pad covered with hard plastic disks and at least 4,000 sharp spikes, according to The New York Times.

One yoga instructor allowed that it was "quite painful initially", but that after the adrenaline rush, "you relax and feel nice again." As when you stop running head first into brick walls.

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Money and Power Make You Stupid

After losing one of his many court cases, Silvio Berlusconi, Prime Minister of Italy and the country's wealthiest man declared:

"I am the best prime minister ever," yet "I am absolutely the politician most persecuted by prosecutors in the entire history of the world throughout the ages." And this, after spending "two hundred million euros on judges."

His aides said he misspoke, about the judges, at least.

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What Happens When We Let Sarah Palin Teach English As A Second Language

Geezer's other website, http://www.akeyinthedoor.com/ is devoted to food and travel. It has an international audience. Lately, his comment box is filling up with messages from Russian viewers. A few are pushing porn, but most seem to be bloggers who just want to link up. Or to swap secret coded directives. Samples, absolutely verbatim:

"It is a class it is described, we shall try."

"Thank you for article, much interesting."

"But why you so certain that it exactly so?"

"Agree with You, but possible in detail?"

"Very cognitive, thank you for spent by you time."

"Hello, I want to congratulate your site with 2010. I am sure that, in this new year, your article will please his readers."

And my favorite:

"In other instances, soon after which the gardener, we will suppose that it is attempted to be the pleasantest thongs i ever treated any boy, and sti out there."

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