Episode 63: Blessings Be Upon You

Why Is This Man Smiling?
When a Jew goes before God, the Talmud says that the first question he is asked is "Were you honest in your business dealings?" What will be the reply of Bernard L. Madoff? Where will he then be directed to spend eternity? Assuming he believes in such things, how does he sleep at night, let alone smile during the day? Who populates his dreams? Does he give a thought to the thousands, perhaps millions, of people whose lives he has destroyed? How does he square what he has done with his purported religious convictions?

Catching On, Very Slowly

Maybe the turning point was when the clueless heads of the Big Three each took their private jets to D.C. to beg bailouts. Turned away, they came back by car.

Some of the nation's CEOs took the hint. Citibank's top execs, for example, turned down their scheduled bonuses, as well they might. No doubt they took note of the reaction to the actions of the boys at AIG, who held a retreat at a luxury resort less than a week after the insurance group dragooned an $85 billion bailout loan from you and me and our children and grandchildren.

And, there was John Thain. He replaced the former head of Merrill Lynch last year after a multi-billion-dollar loss. He got a $15 million signing bonus. A few months later, he arranged a merger with the Bank of America. A few weeks after that, Merrill received $10 billion from the Feds and the Bank of America wangled $15 billion. THEN, Thain asked for a $10 million bonus from his board.

What can he have been thinking? Andrew Cuomo stabbed a shard of reality into Thain's life. The bonus was unacceptable, Andy intoned, with dark implications of what might happen if the CEO didn't retreat. Thain allowed that the Attorney General might have something there. He withdrew his request and slunk back to his 15-bedroom house in Connecticut.

Now the capper: Peter Krause, a senior executive at Merrill Lynch for only three months before the Bank of America buyout, received a golden parachute of $25 million. He used part of that as a down payment for a pied-a-terre on Park Avenue. It comes with five bedrooms, three maids' rooms, a library, and a gym.

Praise the Lord we live in a country and culture fashioned by our Judeo-Christian value system. Otherwise, who knows what moral and criminal depredations might have been visited upon us.

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Video Alerts

Line up to take a last shot at Dubya before he slinks away. Charles brought http://www.sockandawe.com/ to Geezer's attention.

Then set aside ten minutes to see and hear Robin Williams' priceless take on the election at http://politicalirony.com/2008/11/30/robin-williams-on-obamas-election/ (Thanks, Bob.)

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Speaking of Capitalist Scum

Alleged "conceptual artist" Damien Hirst is a charlatan of such epic proportions as to render Andy Warhol, the previous champ, no more a flim-flam specialist than Grandma Moses. If you have been fortunate enough to slide past the hype of his work and personna, be it known that Hirst has re-cast galleries, museums, and corporate suites all over Europe and America as surreal necropoli.

Hirst is famous for enbalming animal carcasses in tanks of formaldahyde, you see. A sheep in the Crucifixion position is one, a half of an entire steer sliced down the middle from snout to tail, another. Hirst's best-known "work" is a dead shark, similarly entombed, with the supremely pretentious title "The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living".

It's hardly news that artists have long tried to gain attention and commissions by outraging public sensibilities, especially in the 2oth Century. What is baffling is the credulity displayed by hyper-rich patrons (that's Bill Gates up there) and panting museum administrators, presumably otherwise intelligent, well-educated folk who eagerly stuff wads of money into Hirst's pockets.

In September 2008, an auction of his obscenities brought in $125 million. That famous rotting shark was purchased by a hedge-fund billionaire. There was speculation that he would install his prize in his Stamford, CT office - how apt for a gaggle of traders who can't stop moving or they'll die. Instead, it can now be viewed at the Metropolitan Museum of Art - your $20 admission fees at work.

This isn't just cranky Geezer's take on this outrage. Said equally cranky critic Robert Hughes: "If there is anything special about this event, it lies in the extreme disproportion between Hirst's prices and his actual talent. Hirst is a pirate."

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To Our Middle-Aged Children

Do you have a will yet? A living will? A health care proxy? Long-term health care insurance?

Why the hell not?

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