Episode 28: The Eye

London Losing Luster
After a few days in London fore and aft of our two weeks in Paris, Geezer came reluctantly to the conclusion that it is a city in chaotic decline. It wasn't the famously awful weather, which actually was fine, with temps in the high 60s (shrieked one tabloid headline, LONDON SWELTERS IN HEAT WAVE!). Always the perfect starter destination for unilingual North Americans, it had so much going for it - museums, pubs, theatre, parks - it was always a favorite.

But the center of the city is now a madhouse, with surging, jostling crowds charging heedlessly down the packed sidewalks, and double-decker buses grinding through their gears and massing slow-moving, nose-to-tail walls along the constricted streets. It makes midtown Manhattan at noon look like Omaha at midnight. Many fringe neighborhoods resemble shabby Third World capitals populated by people who obviously scorn assimilation. West End theatre used to be a special treat and a particular bargain at prices well below those on Broadway. Now there is cost parity and the plays and musicals are largely tired cross-Atlantic trade-offs of revivals and overwrought grotesqueries of the Andrew Lloyd Webber stripe. (An exception was the hilarious current version of Spamalot.)

London has magnificent museums, several of them proudly showing off splashy new wings and renovations. But the special Monet exhibition at the National Gallery cost $24 per person! A one-way ticket to get there on the Tube was $8, a little under $7 on a bus. And a very ordinary double room at a middling hotel sets visitors back at least $375 a night.

British journalists and commentators routinely sneer at imports from American television while ignoring the fact that British TV networks and producers are directly responsible for such assaults on taste as American Idol, Survivor, and Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. The same people snicker about blubbery American tourists, and, of course, they have an undeniably good case - watching my 300-pound countrypeople waddling across Trafalgar Square is painful. But the Brits and other Europeans might take a look at the blokes to left and right of them. Fat Brits and their bovine compatriots across the Channel are hardly rare. According to the president of the European Association for the Study of Obesity, "In many European countries, more than half the population is overweight or obese."

Heal thyselves.

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"We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are."

- From the Talmud.

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Meaning We Do Want To

When someone says, "It isn't the money", you can bet it's the money. That applies in other contexts. Said a spokesman for one of the two finalists in the recent French elections: "I don't want to lecture America. But we don't want France to fall into the same Kafkaesque balloting as happened in the United States."

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A Bumpy Start, You Might say

Jim Gibbons was elected governor of Nevada last November. Given his accomplishments since then, and the record of his party leader in Washington, you should have no trouble guessing his political affiliation.

*He couldn't pronounce the name of his energy advisor because she is "Indian". She is Turkish.

*He announced a plan to cut taxes on small businesses -by two hundredths of one percent.

*He proposed that the state could raise money by distilling jet fuel from coal. Nevada has hardly any coal deposits.

*During his campaign, he displayed a firm grasp on contemporary mores and 21st Century policy initiatives with the remark that "liberal, tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing, hippie, tie-dyed liberals" ought to be used as human shields in Iraq.

*He scheduled his swearing-in seconds after midnight on New Year's Eve, citing vague security concerns related to the execution of Saddam Hussein. No doubt jihadists have the governor of Nevada high on their target lists.

*He suggested that a way to pay for the $3.8 billion deficit in highway construction funds would be to sell the water rights under state roads. The state doesn't own those rights.

*His wife announced a ban on alcohol in the governor's mansion. That residence, she might have been reminded, is in Nevada!

What happens there stays there, y'know what I'm sayin'?

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Because He Can

A 110-year-old Saudi man has taken a second wife because his first one, 85, "no longer satisfies his needs." No specifics were offered, although mega-doses of little blue pills were probably involved. The new spouse is 30.

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Falwell Lives!

Tinky Winky can't catch a break. The official children's rights watchdog of Poland expressed concern that the purple Teletubby promoted homosexuality. He carries a bag that looks suspiciously like a purse.

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Guns

Al Jazeera was on our cable TV in Paris. Contrary to accusations of blatant anti-American rants by the thugs who run our government, the coverage was as bland and nonconfrontational as CNN or NBC. Some of the anchors and reporters were even familiar from American and British networks. News was delivered in a largely evenhanded manner, although with an understandable emphasis on Middle East affairs. Geezer would like access to it at home.

There was one moment of irritation. In the immediate aftermath of the Virginia Tech massacre, an on-camera reporter of the blonde twinkie persuasion oozed smug superiority as she revealed that, as a Canadian, she just couldn't comprehend the American affinity for guns. These sorts of things just don't happen in her country, she attested.

*A few days later, a 14-year-old was killed in a high school shooting in Toronto. No arrests.

*Last September a gunman entered Dawson College, outside Montreal, and shot 2o people before he was killed by police.

*In April of 2006, eight rival bikers were killed by Hell's Angels in London, Ontario.

*In August 1992, an aggrieved professor at Concordia University in Montreal shot four of his colleagues.

*Also in Montreal, in 1989, Marc Lepine entered the Ecole Polytechnique with a semi-automatic rifle and shot 28 people before he killed himself. Fourteen of his victims died.

Look homeward, twinkie.

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Today's Recipe

We became enamoured of Turkish cooking after a visit to Istanbul several years ago. There is much use of vegetables, often with meat merely as flavoring, and lots of seafood. Recently, we enjoyed restaurants featuring the cuisine in both London and New York - the latter called Beyoglu at 1431 Third Avenue (212-650-0850), not far from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It's an open-sided cafe with a distinct eastern Mediterranean look, featuring meze, the tapas-like appetizers. Portions are hefty, so two make a satisfying meal at moderate cost. Try the Turkish wine, not to be confused with the valleys Napa or Gironde, but not bad.

Zeytinyagli Pirasa (with a little crescent over the g)

Serves 4 - 6

Here's a side dish that replaces the usual potato or rice and green beans or broccoli conventions.

It's adapted, with one modification, from The Sultan's Kitchen by Ozcan Ozan.

One-half cup olive oil

One-half cup onion, chopped

2 pounds leeks

2 carrots, peeled and sliced

One-half cup Israeli couscous

One-half cup flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped

2 teaspoons sugar

2 teaspooons lemon juice

Salt to taste

2 cups hot water

Cut off the roots of the leeks and about two-thirds of the green parts of the leeks. Remove the coarse outer leaves. Slice the leeks lengthwise. Wash carefully inside the leaves, where much dirt accumulates. Cut the leeks crosswise in one-half-inch-wide slices. Set aside.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook the onions gently for two to three minutes until soft, not browned. Add the leeks, carrots, couscous, parsley, sugar, and lemon juice. Season with salt and stir. Pour in the hot water, cover the skillet, and cook at a simmer for about 20 minutes, or until leeks are tender.

Transfer to a serving dish, cover, and refrigerate for one hour. Serve chilled or at room temperature.

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Episode 27: April in Paris

The French Really, Really Don't Suck
The flowering trees in the pocket plazas of the Latin Quarter had burst into voluptuous bloom the day before we arrived, and the willows down by the Seine were leafing out in palest shimmering green. By the end of the week, they were joined by the horse chestnuts and the cherry trees started loosing their petals in puffs of warm air.


By then, Michel at the corner cafe
knew what we wanted for breakfast - cafe au lait and croissants - and sunny Cecile at the bar across the street brought us our two decaf expressos and one armagnac without our asking each evening after dinner. Everywhere, we were greeted with smiles and efficiency and solicitations, with not a single sneer nor snarl (excepting a couple of cabdrivers). Although it wasn't difficult to guess we were Americans, no one took the opportunity to upbrade us for the actions of our government, which are universally deplored in France.
True, France's greatest national hero was a warmongering dictator. And true, the French revere expressions of grandeur, which often slides queasily into grandiosity. And they award culture prizes to the likes of Sly Stallone, Quentin Tarantino, and Mickey Rourke. And French politicians from deGaulle to Chirac are among the most annoying people on earth, and that isn't likely to change much after the recent election.
But they were absolutely, positively, right about the wrongheadedness of going to war in Iraq and it's past time we got over our petulant "freedom fries" and "liberty toast" snit. The French are a lot better at living than at fighting, and there is much we can learn from them.
So there.

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And So It Goes
In a post-mortem speech delivered by his son, Kurt Vonnegut declared that the final words of a condemned man ought to be, "This will certainly teach me a lesson."
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Trolling Through The Web
If you haven't seen it already you must go to http://YouTube.com and enter "Bush and Blair Singing: Endless Love" in the "Search" box. And for some startling course corrections from conservative satirist Christopher Buckley, son of William F., go to http://washingtonmonthly.com/features/2006/0610.buckley.html.

************************************************************************************* Say What?
In a letter from Ontario to the International Herald Tribune, a Mr. Kokoski wrote: "Christianity is in decline largely due to the one-sided-ness of the Enlightenment and to a certain hedonism that has given rise to autonomy and anti-authoritarianism. Today's world excludes interventions of God, such as miracles and revelation."
Someone needs a hug.
************************************************************************************* While We Were Gone
*The worst president in the history of the United States repeatedly promised to veto a Congressional military spending bill that included even a whisper of a timetable for withdrawing from Iraq, thereby ignoring the clearly stated intentions of the American electorate.

*Paul Wolfowitz and Alberto Gonzalez were under withering attack but refused to resign.

*Darth Cheney accused Speaker Nancy Pelosi of "bad behavior" for visiting Syria and talking to President Bashar al-Assad.

*After the Virginia Tech massacre, the state's pro-NRA governor, Tim Kane, was asked for his thoughts on gun control. "People who want to make it their political hobby horse to ride," he replied, "I've got nothing but loathing for them. At this point, what it's about is comforting family members and helping this community heal. And so to those who want to try to make this into some little crusade, I say take that elsewhere." Kane didn't take up the issue of how much less healing would be necessary if his state didn't sell handguns to certified lunatics.

*And Karl Rove continued to look like an evil teletubbie - the pink one.

************************************************************************************* Now That We're Back
*Dubya continued to ignore, albeit with difficulty, the fourth anniversary of that unfortunate little "Mission Accomplished" speech on the airdcraft carrier. But as promised, he vetoed the spending bill, describing himself as the "commander guy."

*Amazingly, Wolfie and Alberto remain in office.

*Less than a month after the White House railed against Pelosi's Syria visit, Condi Rice decided to chat with that country's foreign minister. When she does it, it's statesmanship.

*No meaningful legislative efforts to toughen gun control have been taken. Indeed, the subject has disappeared from op-ed pages.

*At the first debate among the Republican candidates for the presidency, the ten white men in blue suits were asked which of them did not believe in evolution. Three raised their hands - Sam Brownback of Kansas, Tom Tancredo of Colorado, and Mike Huckabee of Arkansas. Fortunately, none of them have a prayer (so to speak). But a question for any stray Republicans who may have stumbled on this blog: How can you bring yourselves to be associated with loons?

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Shocked, Shocked
A study ordered by Congress determined that American students who took part in sexual abstinence programs were just as likely to have sex as those who did not.

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Around Paris
This gorgeous city has enough museums and monuments to wear down the most diligent culture hound. There's the Louvre, of course, and the Pompidou, the d'Orsay, Notre Dame, the Opera Bastile, the Sacre Coeur, Arc de Triomphe, the Jardin des Tuileries, and one of Geezer's faves, the Musee Rodin (at right).
But next time you're there, check out the concert schedule beside the entrance to the 13th Century church, Sainte-Chapelle. They are held upstairs before the high altar, where the audience is surrounded on all sides by towering stained-glass windows that sparkle like gemstones tossed across black velvet. So expansive is the use of glass, the patrons must have feared for the building's structural integrity. Vivaldi and Bach were meant to be performed in such a setting.

There's a museum so new - opened in June 2006 - that it appears in no current guidebooks. It's the Musee du quai Branley (51 quai Branly), not far from the Tour Eiffel, and promoted by none other than Jacques Chirac as a legacy of his long tenure as president of the Republic. Gathered within are lavish collections of non-Western arts and artifacts from the Americas, Africa, Asia, and Oceania, fascinating for their ingenuity and displayed in fresh ways. They are refreshing antidote to the familiarity of Monet, Mona Lisa, and the Winged Victory of Samothrace.

While strolling down the long street market rue Mouffetard, distracted by stall after stall and store after store presenting mouthwatering displays of cheeses, pastries, terrines, breads, sausages, glistening fruits, dewy vegetables, and regional wines that rarely make it out of the country, we barely noticed the music being played by the street musicians who took up positions in front of the sidewalk cafes. They weren't doing accordians or Piaf or Michel LeGrand. What we heard were Light My Fire, All of You, and Silent Night.
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