Sunday, June 21, 2009

Episode 72: Mid-Life Diversions


No No No.
Republicans Keep Getting It Wrong
Democrats have sex scandals. Republicans do bad for money and power. Pols V. Pundits
He is an aged, tusk-less bull elephant, bellowing in the wilderness. No longer the leader of his herd, John McCain reacts in the negative to every last proposal and initiative of the thoughtful younger man who defeated him. The man who thought his campaign ditty of "Bomb Bomb Iran" was a laugh riot thinks Obama should be making fist-shaking statements in support of the dissenters in the streets of Tehran. Never mind that such expressions of profound disapproval from the West are notoriously ineffective - see Tiananmen Square in 1989 - or that supporting them with actual action can easily lead to war or that blatant bellicosity simply gives the target regime a handy enemy upon whom to deflect blame. (The ayatollahs haven't needed encouragement in that regard.)

Every time McCain opens his mouth he gives us reason to rejoice in the results of the November election.Naturally, he has people who share his increasingly irrational diatribes - Republican Senators Chuck Grassley and Lindsey Graham, for two. Surprisingly, though, a number of commentators on the right feel that Obama's measured approach is exactly right. Among them are George Will, Peggy Noonan, Henry Kissinger, and Pat Buchanan (!), conservatives all.

The man called lizard continues his sharp-elbowed (and doomed) push to be anointed the next leader of the Garrulous Old Poops. Last week Newt Gingrich criticized Obama's Cairo speech, in part because Barack declared himself a "citizen of the world". In remarks before a conservative audience (after figuratively wrestling the podium away from Sarah Palin), Newt sternly announced that he weren't no dang citizen of the world. The former House Speaker, a forgetful sort, failed to recall that his hero, the sainted Ronald Reagan, once announced - before the United Nations Assembly, no less - that he was a citizen of the world, too. Time for a catch-up review by the former history professor from that third-rate college where he once pontificated.

Newt isn't the only member of his tribe tripping over his own feet. Congressional smucks lept to condemn Obama when he was maneuvered into a handshake with Venezuelan autocrat Hugo Chavez at that Latin American meeting a few weeks ago. Something about giving credibility to unsavory people. Diplomatic niceties are lost on this crowd, but not on their beloved Ronnie. There he is, grinning lovably and stretching over the table to shake mitts with the potentate of the Evil Empire, Mikhail Gorbachev.

You Fascistic Socialist, You

Conservatives have so overused the "Liberal! Liberal! Liberal!" attack against opposition candidates, the label has lost its oomph. Since "Communist!", as applied to Obama, would be patently absurd, given his often centrist words and actions, the scary insult of choice seems to be "Socialist!" (Since Aristotelian logic isn't a prime analytical tool of conservatives, "Fascist!" has been employed by some of the same hysterics, but that boat seems not to have floated.)

Back on April 25th, conservatives hosted "Tea Parties" in cities around the country. They were meant to promote "Tax Cuts Now!!!". (Wingnuts left and right have never found single exclamation points adequate to emphasize their outrage.) The demonstrators ignored the administration's promise that taxes would be increased only on those households making $250,000 or more a year. Participants also failed to consider that the leaders of several of the most publicized events were Fox News anchors, in all likelihood the only protesters on scene who would actually be affected by that move.

Their tedious, predictable complaints spurn the reality of government programs that protect and serve tens of millions of Americans. Would these yahoos give up Social Security for the elderly and disabled? Medicare for their parents and grandparents? Workmen's Compensation when they are injured in the workplace? Unemployment Compensation when they lose their jobs? Medicaid and housing allowances for poor people? Free school lunches for disadvantaged children? Do they really want to protect insurance companies and greedy plutocrats who make and keep more money than they'll ever need?

Geezer doesn't like poetry, with the possible exception of Dylan Thomas recited by Richard Burton.
There.
That was almost harder to admit to than his lifelong atheism. Because everybody likes poetry, or at least claims to. The mystery is why? Writing is meant to communicate ideas, feelings, fresh concepts, interpretations of history. Exactly how does writing dreamily abstract prose, then breaking it up into faux poetic format accomplish that? (Shame on Ezra Pound for kicking that trend into gear.)
There was a bit of a fuss over the recent elevation of a woman, Carol Ann Duffy, to the post of Britain's Poet Laureate. After 341 years! trumpeted the press. Here, then, a sample of the deathless words that brought her this honor:

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Whatever her compensation, it's too much.

Gleanings From Readings
"He was plenty old enough, if he thought about it, to be her father, but in the society of the tour bus - a kind of school bus, with the discipline problems in the back and the brown-nosers up front next to the lecturers - they were all in the same grade."
- John Updike, My Father's Tears and Other Stories

"As if charging $15 to check a bag weren't enough, two airlines (United and US Airways) are asking for $5 more beginning this summer if you pay at the check-in counter - a fee on top of a fee."
- Associated Press

"What struck me was that virtually every story about Ensign's fall from grace included a reference to his having been considered a possible contender for his party's presidential nomination in 2012. Who knew?"
- Gail Collins, NY Times, regarding the Senator's confession of an adulterous affair

"A graduate student at Cornell University got a computer-generated paper accepted for publication in a peer-reviewed journal. The paper, entitled Deconstructing Access Points, made no sense whatsoever, as this sample reveals: 'In this section, we discuss existing research into red-black trees, vacuum tubes and courseware [10]. Recent work by Takahashi suggests a methodology for providing robust modalities, but doesn't offer an implementation [9].'"
- The Globe & Mail (Canada)

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."
- L. Ron Hubbard, science fiction writer and founder of Scientology

"Tallulah Bankhead was supposed to pick up a ringing phone onstage in the 1962 show 'Here Today' and set the action in motion with her conversation. She forgot her lines (so) she handed the phone to a surprised co-star, saying, 'It's for you.' "
- Reminiscences of retired press agents, reported in the NY Times

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