Episode 22: No Shelter

The debate in the House began on February 13th, about the same time this year's first nor'easter plowed through D.C. on its way to New York and New England.
Only 17 Republicans joined Democrats in a non-binding resolution denouncing Bush's plan to deploy another 21,500 troops...but it's a start. Count it as a rebuke - Bush becomes ever more isolated.
Hard-right Bush loyalists, predictably, continue to insist that the Iraq disaster is simply part of the larger war on terror. That this is patent nonsense doesn't deter such knuckle-draggers as Minority Leader Boehner. He and his henchmen, adhering to their required globs of talking points, say that not only is the wrong message being sent to our troops, but the resolution endangers America. They do this while drenching the chamber with "God" and "liberty" like catsup on Freedom fries.
This is the Republican strategy, of course: Pretend that the issue is terrorism, not "The Surge" and the murderous debacle that is Iraq. If they can pull that off, they win.
Tune in C-Span 2. You'll see three or four grown men in an otherwise empty chamber jabbering maddeningly about "Honorable Gentleladies" and "esteemed colleagues" and "yielding" chunks of debate minutes back and forth, when the people who elected them have already made clear they want this grotesque misadventure over. Right now!

At least George will always have Joe. Kiss kiss.

















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"Anxiety is interest paid on trouble before it is due."
- William R. Inge, English vicar

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Disorder in the American Courts
A book by that name records actual exchanges between real lawyers and witnesses. It swears these are real, taken down by court reporters.

Attorney: Are you sexually active?
Witness: No, I just lie there.
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Attorney: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?
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Attorney: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
Witness: Oral.
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Attorney: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice?
Witness: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness: The autopsy started aound 8:30 p.m.
Attorney: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
Witness: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

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Felonious Grunts
Everyone deserves a second chance. So it warms the very cockles of Geezer's heart to know that the Army, for purely platonic reasons, has provided "moral waivers" to 13, 047 new recruits since 2003. Most of these were awarded to candidates with past convictions for assault, burglary, robbery, and vehicular homicide, but 11 percent of those had felony records - that is, crimes requiring sentences of one year or more. The odds that some of these ex-convicts might just possibly commit rape, murder, and/or other atrocities in battlefield conditions might be high, but hey, where's your compassion?
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A More Than Slightly Rotten Apple
Ever since the dawn of personal computing, people in the know have been advising Geezer - rather smugly, it has seemed to me - that Apples are far, far superior to PCs. It's use is easy, intuitive. Plug and play. Download in seconds. Ironclad protection against viruses and worms. But back there fifteen years ago, choosing Microsoft over Apple seemed as logical as picking VHS over Sony Beta. As annoying as Bill Gates' baby could be, it was the vehicle of choice for over 90% of computer users.
Geezer was right. I recently ordered an iPod Shuffle, the kind that records 250 songs in a device the size of an Elvis commemorative stamp. In my ongoing effort not to bore the friends and family who might actually choose to read this blog, I won't go into painful detail. Suffice to say, downloading 135 tunes from CDs and the Apple store took five days. There were noticeable gaps in the 35-page instruction manual, as when it said to press a "stop" button that appeared nowhere on the screen. Finally, after days of attempting to extract rational information from Apple Central, it conceded that my Shuffle was "corrupted". Required to complete several lengthy forms, I was eventually promised a replacement within three business days.
It's now ten days...and counting. Fie on Apple.
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No Comment
*In Tennessee, the enlightened state that hosted the Scopes Monkey Trial, Republican state representative Stacey Campfield introduced legislation that would require death certificates for aborted fetuses.

*Residents of the Serbian village of Medja have elected to build a monument to Johnnie Weissmuler as he appeared in the Tarzan movies. They were inspired by a similar decision by authorities in the village of Zitiste, where they're erecting a statue of Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa.

*The pilot of an Air Mauritania discerned that the Arab gunman hijacking his Boeing 737 didn't speak French, so he warned the passengers and crew that he was going to make a rough landing to throw the man to the floor. He did so by slamming on the brakes, then accelerating. Ten people threw boiling water in the hijacker's face, then pummeled him into submission.

*At at demonstration in Beirut, one group of marchers chanted, "We are against sectarianism! And God is with the Sunnis!"
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Episode 21: Noble Beasts and Others

Then came February.
In early January, the thermometer read in the 70s here in the lower Hudson Valley. The eagles usually come down here in December, when the lakes and streams up north freeze over. The hunting is better with open water.








Then it got cold. Ice floes formed out in the big river, but our Croton still ran free.
The eagles returned.
On the 11th, we joined other enthusiasts down near the railroad bridge where the Croton enters the bay where Hendrick Hudson anchored the Half Moon in 1609. The estuary was crowded with hundreds of Canada geese, ducks, and mute and trumpeter swans. People with scopes pinpointed a mature eagle in the trees at the shore. We caught our breaths when he left his perch and swept down to the water, his orange talons nearly grazing the black water. Then, with a sharp, brief plunge, he snatched his prey, a fish as large as he, and took it back up to his branch. He wasted no time starting to eat.
You must live long enough to see an eagle soar.

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"A critic is to an artist as a eunuch is to a man."
- Unknown

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Dead at Only 62
Molly Ivins was a columnist from Texas who had the lowest possible opinion of politicians. When she returned to Dallas after an unhappy stint with the New York Times, her new employers rented billboards that read, "Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?" Among her many notable barbs...

Of a congressman: "If his I.Q. slips any further, we'll have to water him twice a day."
Of a speech by Patrick J. Buchanan: "It probably sounded better in the original German."
At the convening of the Texas legislature: "Every village is about to lose its idiot."
Of the patrician George Bush the First: "Real Texans do not use the word 'summer' as a verb."

Fortunately, Geezer wasn't a pol. Molly gave me the best review ever of one of my books. Describing another tome covering a similar subject to a painting by Norman Rockwell, she said mine was "closer to a photograph taken by Diane Arbus." I've cherished those words, salve for the fact that the book in question was my worst seller.

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More Evidence (Were It Needed) of the Decline of the American Empire

*The Reverend Ted Haggard, the evangelist involved in a gay-sex scandal, announced that after three weeks of therapy he was now "completely heterosexual". He found himself a helluva a shrink. If deviant behavior is the doctor's speciality, there's a White House that could use his expertise.

*Jack's back. Jack Bauer of the hit thriller 24, that is. See Jack torture evildoers. See Jack get tortured. Watch Jack's President watching a man get tortured. View two people being tortured simultaneously on split screens. Seeing gouging, suffocation, electrocution, and the inventive use of defibrillator paddles.The Parents Television Council reported that 24 had 67 such scenes in its first five seasons, more than every other episode. That's entertainment!

*When 24 isn't around, there's always Criminal Minds. Last week, "Reid (was) kidnapped and tortured by a sadistic serial killer." And in between, check out Prison Break, with a central character of ambiguous allegiance who gets all his information through - you guessed it - pain, terror, cruelty, sadism. Fun for all the family.

*A Ph.D. candidate at the University of Rhode Island has handed in a dissertation to complete requirements for his degree in geosciences. His subjects were the marine reptiles called mosasauers, which vanished at the end of the Cretaceous era, 65 million years ago. The catch: Said doctoral candidate is a "young earth creationist" who believes that the earth is less than 10,000 years old. In his mind, apparently, paleontology and the folk tales and myths comprising scripture are equally credible.

*Time reports that "over the past decade or so, expressing their religious beliefs openly has become hip for many young people." One result: More young Roman Catholic women, most in their 20s and 30s, are taking to the veil and the wimple. Marriage to a 2,000-year-old figment of collective imagination and a lifetime of chastity, obedience, and poverty. Fundamentalist Islamic head cases aren't the only ones rushing to embrace medievalism.

*The November elections should have emboldened the Democrats to undertake powerful resistance to this unresolvable war, one might think. Get out now!, maybe. Hardly. They're just getting around to trying to push through a non-binding resolution to limit the war. Out now? Nah. By May, maybe. Or sometime next year. Call them Wusses United In Indecision.

*Damn the elections! Full speed ahead! After a couple of months of no-doubt careful consideration, Dubya has determined that he must go forward with his surge of 21,000 new troops. He's already told 3,000 troops in Iraq that they have to stay there for four more months. It can be assumed that he and Darth Cheney don't care that American casualties have shot up since his announcement. So, while he's at it, he's punching up the propaganda machine to justify an attack against Iran - his very own Gulf of Tonkin resolution, it would seem. Never mind that he already has two wars he can't bring to conclusion and that he hasn't the troops to take on a country with twice the population of Iraq.

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Moroccan Chicken
The foods of North Africa and the Middle East are well worth sampling. This is a variation on a standard dish I cribbed from USA Weekend. It's relatively low-calorie and serves 6.

2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons coriander
Half-teaspoon cayenne pepper
One and a quarter boneless, skinless chicken cut into bite-sized chunks
Salt to taste
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 teaspoon grated ginger
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup chicken broth
1 can tomatoes, chopped
1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
Three-quarter cup pitted Kalamata olives, halved
One-half cup raisins
2 tablespoons honey
1 bay leaf
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 lemon, cut into four wedges
6 whole-wheat pitas

In a bowl, combine two tablespoons of cinnamon, the cumin, the coriander, the cayenne pepper, and salt to taste. Dredge the chicken in the spices.
In a skillet with a cover and large enough to hold all ingredients, heat oil over medium heat. Add chicken chunks and saute until browned. Remove from skillet.
Add onion to skillet and saute three minutes. Add garlic, ginger, and broth; cook five more minutes. Add all remaining ingredients and and the chicken. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes.
Serve in bowls, with the pitas.