Episode 13: Summer By The Sea

Why is this woman smiling?

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"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, and to have the two as close together as possible."
- George Burns
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GODLINESS ON PARADE
While celebrities hog the High Holy Ground - Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise rampant on their elevated fields of faith - others also labor mightily in the vineyards of the Lord.

*The United States Senate, evidently finding time on its hands during the dog days, has purchased a 27-foot-tall cross on a municipal park in San Diego. By federalizing the monument, they mean to protect it from a 17-year legal assault by a local athetist who keeps muttering something about separation of church and state.

*From its headquarters on the far side of the Moon, the Kansas State Board of Education last year instituted classroom challenges to Darwin's Theory of Evolution, implicitly endorsing "intelligent design" as a viable alternative. Board member and retired teacher Connie Morris said she did not believe in evolution. "It's a nice bedtime story," she elaborated while turning logic on its head, but "science doesn't back it up."

*A new book, Divine Intervention: Jesus or Jefferson? declares that America's founding documents - the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Federalist Papers - are the Lord's Final Testament, thereby superseding both the Bible and the Koran. Author Stanley Kimmel Kesselman is a Republican candidate for Congress from Los Angeles.

*An audit of the expenditures of the St. John Roman Catholic Church in Darien, CT has estimated that $1.4 million was diverted into the private accounts of the Reverend Michael Jude Fay. Among its findings: Father Fay admitted secretly using $1,500 a month in church money to lease a Manhattan pied-a-terre. He spent $140,000 of church money eating in restaurants. The priest declared that $515,000 he withdrew from parish accounts went to "parisioners in need", but at least $380,000 of that amount wound up in his personal accounts. And, Father Fay and a friend by the name of Cliff Fantini bought a condo in Fort Lauderdale together with $257,000 in church money. Father Fay's whereabouts are unknown.

*The NYC Health Department has recommended that infants not undergo oral-suction circumcisions after babies in Rockland County, NY were infected with herpes. In a practice observed by Hasidic and ultra-Orthodox Jews, the mohel - a rabbi who conducts the ceremonial bris - uses his mouth to suction blood from the wound when the foreskin of male babies is sliced away. It's called a metzizah bi peh. If the mohel has oral herpes, the incurable disease can easily be transmitted to the infant.

*Gregory A. Boyd is no leftie. Pastor of an evangelical megachurch in Minnesota, he's against abortion and homosexuality. But he had enough of requests from parishioners to speak in support of conservative causes and candidates. He delivered a series of sermons in which he said, according to the NY Times, that "the church should steer clear of politics, give up moralizing on sexual issues, stop claiming the United States as a 'Christian nation', and stop glorifying American military campaigns." Out of 5,000 church members , he's lost about 1,000 so far.

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TRAVEL TIP
Where's the safest place on the plane?
In the back.
Why not the front?
That's where the mountains are.

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PESTO CHICKEN & PASTA alla TUCKg
There's no such thing as an original recipe, but this is as close as Geezer has ever come to creating a new dish. The pasta, pesto, and cheese soak up moisture quickly, so save a cup of the pasta water and be prepared to add more olive oil at the end. Keep this recipe in mind when there's leftover cooked chicken in the fridge.
Serves 4.

Olive oil for frying
1 medium yellow onion, cut in half, and cut into thin slices
1 sweet red (bell) pepper, cored, seeded, and cut into narrow vertical slices
1 sweet yellow (bell) pepper, cored, seeded, and cut into narrow vertical slices
2 large garlic cloves, peeled and minced
2 chicken breasts, cooked, and cut with the grain into narrow slices
1 pound long pasta
1 cup prepared pesto (but with more to add if necessary)
Quarter to half-teaspoon hot pepper flakes (optional)
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Freshly grated Parmesan cheese (or similar), to taste
Fresh basil leaves for garnish

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil for the pasta. Add the pasta and stir. Meantime, in a large skillet, bring olive oil to a light sizzle. Add the onion and pepper slices. When they start to go limp in three or four minutes, stir in the garlic. When the garlic starts to turn golden, add the chicken strips. Stir and toss to heat through. If the pasta is not yet ready, cover the skillet and remove from the heat.
Cook the pasta until one minute shy of the time recommended on the package. Dip out a cup of the water and save. Drain the pasta, but do not rinse. Add the pasta to the skillet and toss with the other ingredients. Add the pesto, pepper flakes (if using), salt, and pepper and toss and stir thoroughly. If the combination seems dry, add a bit of the pasta water. Toss.
Remove the contents of the skillet to a serving bowl or platter. Drizzle with olive oil and grate the cheese over all. Garnish with basil leaves.