Episode 12: As I Was Saying...

Geezer is done. Well into his eighth decade, he has written his last words for money and 20-something editors who think they know more than he does. In celebration of completion of his final guidebook, Jo and he and a couple of middleaged children and their SOs spent three weeks in Venice. More about that in a future post.
In the meantime, Geezer thinks he has at least one more unpublished novel in him, which he plans to share with you. For now, he is relishing three delightful aspects of retirement: sleeping until he wakes up, reading the paper until he finishes, and reveling in the knowledge that anything that doesn't get done today can be addressed tomorrow.
Still, he vows that there will be no more months-long gaps in postings, which he hopes you will be pleased to know.


************************************************************************************
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public"
- Theodore Roosevelt

**************************************************************************************
While We Were Away

*In a moment of breathtaking hypocrisy, the U.S. refused to provide Nepal with $1.5 million in military aid because it failed to meet human rights criteria. An unidentified American official said Nepal had forfeited the aid by failing to provide unimpeded access to detention centers.

*That's My Job: A self-identified dominatrix in a Westchester County suburb was arrested for traffic violations. She filed a complaint that she had been handcuffed and suffered abuse at the hands of police on the scene and at the station.

*Before you get too dewy-eyed about every liberal's favorite conservative, John McCain, consider his endorsement of a fellow senator last November: "I will tell anyone that of all the majority leaders we've had in the United States Senate, I believe that Trent Lott was the finest Leader we've had." Lott's thinly veiled racism wasn't a factor in McCain's judgement, it would seem.

*A teenager in Kansas was suspended from school in December for uttering a few words of Spanish in conversation with a classmate. After his reinstatment two days later, he proved his command of a certain sub-category of English with the statement: "I know it would be, like, disruptive if I answered in Spanish in the classroom. I totally don't do that. But outside of class now, the teachers are, like, 'Whatever'."

*In January, the black Congressman Charles Rangel was asked in an interview what he thought about President Bush.
"Well, " he replied, "I think it shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all."

*A couple of lines of dialog from the movie, A Prairie Home Companion:
Q: Why do they call it "PMS"?
A: Because "Mad Cow" was taken.

*Life in southern California: A motorcycle cop issued a $114 ticket to an 82-year-old woman for trying to cross a busy five-lane boulevard as the "Don't Walk" signal was blinking. "You're obstructing the flow of traffic," she was told. Can't have that.

*Another 82-year-old resident of Tombstone, Arizona was looking to spice up his remaining years. Walter McCarthy strapped a pistol to his leg when he joined a vigilante patrol at the Mexican border. Said Walter, "I need some excitement. And this is better than sitting home all day watching rattlesnakes crawl out of the den." They don't have cable in southern Arizona?

*In the wake of Katrina, Congressional investigators have uncovered credit card expenditures by the Department of Homeland Security that include charges for a $227 beer brewing kit, a $7,790 63-inch plasma TV monitor which sat unused for six months, a flotilla of flat-bottomed boats for $208,000 (double the retail price), and $68,442 for 2,000 dog booties. A spokesman for the department said it would soon be issuing rules for credit card usage, twelve months after the hurricane's landfall. "We are still a young department," he said.

*A would-be British participant in a Philippines crucifixion ritual backed out at the last minute. He was jeered by 10,000 spectators. After all, twelve other Filipinos had allowed themselves to be crucified in an annual ceremony that has become a popular tourist attraction.

*In March, President Bobblehead warned of the dangers of turning the nation inward and isolationist while making a case for international engagement on important issues. Come again? Whatever happened to pre-emptive action, going it alone, and that frequently enunciated aversion to nation-building?

*About the same time, an anti-war activist carried this sign in a demonstration: "Will somebody please give Bush a blow job so we can impeach him?"

*************************************************************************************
The cocktail revolution has led us from the dreaded Reagan-era spritzers on to Margaritas, to Cosmopolitans and through several vile takes on the hallowed Martini. Coming up on the inside rail is the Mojito, so here's a recipe that works.

Mojito
1 generous serving

1 lime, freshly squeezed
2 teaspoons sugar
Fresh mint leaves
Crushed ice
4 ounces light rum
Club soda

Chill a large Old Fashioned glass breifly in the freezer. Pour in lime juice and add the sugar and four or five mint leaves. Muddle until sugar is dissolved (the grinding sound will stop). Fill the glass with crushed ice and add rum. Stir. Fill to rim with club soda (or with more rum, for a stronger drink). Garnish with two or three more mint leaves.