Episode 19: On a Sub-Tropical Island

In December of 2005, Key West was shaking off the destructive effects of Hurricane Wilma. A water surge variously estimated at 13 to 21 feet had thundered across the island, which is only 16 feet above sea level at its highest point.
The streets were lined with ruined cars, furniture, appliances, and towering heaps of tree branches and palm fronds awaiting removal. Saddest, for visitors, was the almost total absence of flowers, ripped from the trees by the devastating winds.
Key Westers rallied. They have been this way before. Festivals scheduled for earlier in the season were packed into one week - a Christmas parade, a pirate festival celebrating the end of hurricane season, and a fiercely R-rated bit of debauchery (parents strongly cautioned) called the Fantasy Fest which featured large numbers of creatively painted all-but-naked young women. Some of the last were stunning. Many others, though, apparently did not have access to mirrors.
A year later, just about everything is back as it was. House repairs are ongoing. The bougainvillea, hibiscus, and frangipani are flourishing. Birds and butterflies have returned. Apart from a few graffiti begging FEMA for relief, Key West has returned to its raffish, raggedy, outrageously hedonistic self.













*************************************************************************************
"Fear not the path of truth for the lack of people walking on it."
-Robert Kennedy (1968)

*************************************************************************************
The More Things Stay The Same

*Bush is about to send up to 30,000 additional troops into Iraq, despite the clear opposite intent of the national electorate in November. Much of this increase will be accomplished by extending the tours of troops already there and sending back soldiers who have served in that fractured nation two, three, or more times.

*Centrist Democrats are waffling, as usual, also despite those same election results.

*With short memories about Enron, WorldCom, and a multitude of other corporate slime factories, the board at Home Depot has given a golden parachute of $274 million to departing C.E.O. Robert L. Nardelli although his company's stock steadily declined over his six years at the helm.

*Researchers at Villanova have discovered that 85 percent of Roman Catholic dioceses experienced embezzlement of church money, with 11 percent reporting that more than $500,000 had been stolen.

*Ever seeking to impose enlightenment, about 10,000 Islamists protested in Karachi against Pakistan's new Women Protection Bill, which reduces the burden of proof for rape victims and moves the crime from coverage under religious laws to prosecution under the penal code. Before the bill's passage, a rape victim had to produce four male Muslim witnesses to prove her accusation and could be convicted of adultery, leading to life in prison or death by stoning.

*************************************************************************************
Sign spotted in a Key West shop window: "Dear Santa - I can explain..."

*************************************************************************************
News item: The White House recently asserted that the government has the right to open personal mail without a warrant. Geezer's good friend Dan sent along this list of apropos bumper stickers:

*That's OK. I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway.

*America: One Nation, Under Surveillance.

*Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

*One Nation Under Clod.

*If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran.

*If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President.

*Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

*Bush Never Exhaled.

*************************************************************************************
Today's Chuckle:

"Donald Rumsfeld is the finest Secretary of Defense this nation has ever had."
-Dick Cheney

*************************************************************************************
Key West Lingo & Lore

A conch (pronounced "conk") is the creature who lives inside one of those opalescent spiral shells in which you "hear the ocean". Italians call them scungilli. Tough and exceedingly ugly to behold, the flesh is ground up to be cooked in chowder and fritters. Conk is also the name given to native-born Key Westers, a rare breed. Outsiders who have lived in Key West long enough are accorded the title "freshwater conch."

Back in the 1982, residents protested roadblocks set up by the Border Patrol at the mainland end of Route 1, the single road linking the Keys. The agents were seeking drugs and illegal immigrants, but delays were long and tiresome. When letters of complaint and lawsuits failed, Key Westers seceded from the United States and declared themselves the independent Conch Republic. The party lasted a week.
Then the Conch Republic surrendered and applied for foreign aid. From the United States.

Diners are offered dolphin in Keys restaurants. No, not Flipper. That dolphin is a mammal. There is also a multicolored dolphin fish that pulses like neon when hooked. In Hawaii, they call the fish mahi-mahi, and the name has been adopted to sell it to squeamish mainlanders. Down here, some menus grudgingly list it as mahi, but hard-bitten native waitresses still call it dolphin.

Key Westers are a tolerant lot. Their island has long been home to black and white Bahamians, hippies, writers, artists, Cubans, and gays. They are even nice to the cruiseboat passengers and snowbirds who swarm along their streets in nearly overwhelming numbers from December to April.
What most of them don't like are the chickens. No one seems to know exactly when the feral fowl showed up, or how. But they are everywhere, trotting through gardens and dashing across streets. Any visitors who think roosters crow only at dawn are swiftly disabused of the notion. They screech at all hours, and if one of them claims the territory under your bedroom window you will wish for an ax. In this weather, they breed all year.
Of course, there are chicken lovers to counter the haters. The Chicken Store harbors injured or nuisance birds, who are given free range inside the building. Adoption is free, and they can be shipped anywhere in the U.S. Natives will urge you to take advantage of this offer when you leave.
************************************************************************************
APPLETINI
Personally, Geezer prefers his booze straight, with ice. But seeing how popular flavored vodka drinks are, he checked appletini recipes. Most seemed excessively fussy, so here's a stripped-to-essentials version. Serves one.

Place a maritini glass in the freezer for a few minutes. Into a cocktail shaker, put a couple of cubes of ice, three ounces of vodka, and two ounces of Dekuper apple pucker schnapps. Shake.
Pour into the glass. Drop in a maraschino cherry as garnish, if you wish.