Episode 26: Peace In Our Time

Bambi and Thumper Do Easter

In recognition of the season, Geezer offers these images of the incarnations - not to say resurrections - of vintage Disney imaginings. Yes, they trigger the aww response, but suburbanites cannot help but reflect that these are creatures who treat our gardens as salad bars. At least they taste good.

Over on the Gaza-Egyptian border, another zoological event caused even hardened customs agents to double-take. The woman of interest, fully robed, "looked strangely fat". A peek behind the shador revealed why: She was concealing three crocodiles under there, each of them nearly two feet long. Sufficient panic ensued that her reason for smuggling swamp things was never determined.

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Where Are the Copy Editors When You Really Need Them?

In a press release for an event meant to alleviate the suffering of the people of western Sudan, the headline read:

DINING FOR DARFUR

TAKE A STAND AGAINST GENODICE

The organizers might want to get in touch with the founder and president of The Learning Annex Real Estate & Wealth Expo, who spent untold thousands of dollars to place a full page ad in the New York Times. Included in the copy, possibly written on the back of an envelope and transmitted verbatim, were these these sentences:

"Most own their own home, but looking to invest in more."

"So hence, this letter."

"So e-mail me if your interested."

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Maybe Nobody Will Notice

*In pursuit of their unending war with everybody, the Bushies are picking hourly fights with anyone who disagrees with them. Last week, George the Inept accused the Democrats of playing "political theater" by demanding timelines for ending the grotesque misadventure in Iraq. He could say this with a clean conscience because he has never made a decision solely on ideology or political considerations.

*Saturday he expressed indignation that the Democratic Congress took a "vacation" - the customary Easter recess - without sending him a bill funding the war without deadlines. He promptly left the White House for a week's vacation at the Crawford ranch.

*Darth Cheney accused the Democrats of being unpatriotic for attempting to end the war. That's Clotted Dick, the patriot who wangled four deferments back when he was of draft age because he had "other things to do."

*White House spokesmen and the Republican leadership in Congress complained long and loud about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's visit to Syria and her meeting with President Basar al-Assad. Darth said it was "bad behavior." Republican House Leader John Boehner said that Pelosi and her colleagues went to Syria only "to embarass the President." Presumably that was not the case when he and Newt Gingrich visited China in 1997 during a Democratic administration.

*On his heavily fortified stroll through a Baghdad market with John McCain, Senator Lindsey Graham crowed that he'd "bought five rugs for five bucks." Way to stimulate the Iraq economy, Senator! In the meantime, no one in D.C. seems to have noticed that the percentage of Americans living in extreme poverty has reached a 32-year high, according to a McClatchy Newspapers analysis.

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This Month In Faith

*Pope Benedict reaffirmed the Church's prohibition on the use of condoms, even in countries suffering catastrophic H.I.V. AIDS epidemics.

*In Bergen County, New Jersey, an Orthodox Jewish service station owner announced that he was selling kosher-for-Passover gasoline. Seems that ethanol is usually made from corn, and that vegetable is forbidden food for Ashkenazi Jews during the holiday.

*The senior pastor of a Colorado evangelical church (no, not Ted Haggard, a different one) resigned after admitting to having had sex with men. He admitted that sin in a tearful half-hour video address to his congregation.

*Nigerian lawmakers are considering a bill that would ban any association with a homosexual, right down to sharing a meal in a restaurant. That includes viewing films or attending gay clubs, with penalties of up to five years in prison. It's difficult to know why they're bothering, since execution is already the penalty for homosexuality in the Muslim north of the Country.

*The Archbishop of Genoa is under armed guard after he compared gay rights to incest and pedophilia. Parliament is considering a bill to grant rights to unmarried couples. Can't have that.

*An art exhibition that was to include a chocolate sculpture of a life-sized, naked, anatomically correct Christ on an implied cross was cancelled after Cardinal Edward Egan and Bill Donohue of the Catholic League objected. It was, Donohue said, "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibiltities ever." He'll want to avoid Barcelona, where a nude Christ is prominently displayed at the west end of the unfinished Templo de Sagrada Familia.
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