Episode 49: Europe These Days

Sliver
Every city has a "narrowest house", structures usually squeezed into alleys between normal buildings. The one on the left, the slender red band with windows, holds the title for Valencia.
That city was also the assignment for Cindy Loose, a reporter for The Washington Post. She produced a syndicated article that is a casebook demonstration of travel writing in the hands of someone singularly ill-equipped for the task. It began:

"As much as anything, seafood paella enticed me to Valencia. That and the fact that it's an ancient city on the Mediterranean coast, and its very name evokes images of sun-ripened oranges.

"As it turned out, I saw only one orange tree in the Spanish city of Valencia, and it was a rather straggly example of the species. The seafood paella - and I had sample tastes at four restaurants - was so overwhelmingly fishy that I opted for other choices. Twice I picked chicken paella, demonstrating my preference by pointing at the sample dishes in the windows.

"That was great, except both times I had it, I kept wondering why Spanish chickens would all have such oddly misshappen legs. Then it came to me: The 'chicken' legs came off of rabbits."

Ms. Loose was apparently shocked - shocked! - to discover Spaniards, among hundreds of millions of other people, actually eat bunny rabbits! Thumper! That seafood tastes like fish! And she never figured out that Valenciano farmers grow their famous oranges not downtown but in vast orchards outside the city! I have even more bad news for her. Spaniards eat lamb and goat and goose barnacles, too. Deal with it.














Professional travel writers, Ms. Loose, research their destinations before they go. They arrive with some basic understanding of what to expect, from current political issues to the state of the local economy. They are prepared to experience new sights, different tastes, unusual customs, and distinctive notions about how to live their lives. They even try to pick up a few words of the language. You might try those.

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Flying
Most frequent travelers in Europe have heard and probably booked flights on one of the low-cost airlines that have recently clogged airport departure gates. Ryanair and easyJet have high profiles, but they have over one hundred competitors, among them such upstarts as Air Berlin, Estonian Air, Alpi Eagles, and Fly Baboo. Most of them give new meaning to the designation "cattle cars". They land and depart from obscure airports distant from their target cities, slash any services that might be remotely regarded as frills, and often make intermediate stops even during relatively short routes.

There's a new sheriff in town. Vueling Airlines is based in Barcelona, with a network that serves several major cities in Spain, plus four in Italy, two in France, and one each in Malta, Greece, and Portugal. The planes are new, prices are among the lowest available, and, best of all, all flights are non-stop and fly only in and out of the main airports of each city. When you make your arrangements on the Internet - www.vueling.com - the site will also offer to make reservations at discounted rates in your destination cities.

All that's to the good for travelers trying to squeeze as much value as possible from the ravaged dollar, but it's entertaining to consider how Vueling assembles its fares. A recent flight from Paris to Barcelona cost 1.40 euros. No, that's not a misprint. At current exchange rates that fare converts to $2.21.

But I'll bet that you'd like to take some clothes and other necessities with you. That'll be an extra 9 euros ($14.22) per suitcase. Use your credit card to pay? That's another 6.50 euros ($10.27).
Want to sit in the front bulkhead row for a couple more inches legroom? 12 euros ($18.96). Then there's something (unexplained) called a spoilage fee - 22.48 euros ($35.52). Add taxes - 39.30 euros ($62.10) - and the total, one way, for one passenger, comes to $143.28. Still a good deal, given the parlous state of the dollar.

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Laundry
Need incentive for escaping your hotel with your dirty clothes and finding a neighborhood laundromat or dry cleaner? After a couple of days at a Barcelona hotel, we sent three shirts and one pair of khaki trousers to the housekeeper. The charge, twenty-four hours later, was 34 euros ($53 at the time).
At least wash out smaller items like underwear, socks, lingerie, and stockings in your bathroom sink. A squirt of the shampoo usually provided works fine. Leave the clothes to soak in the sink for a couple of hours. Wring them out as vigorously as the fabric will allow, then roll them into a towel, squeeze out more moisture, and hang the items on shower curtain rods or any other projection that will allow air to circulate. They should be dry in the morning.

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Puffing
Not so long ago, Europeans visiting those parts of the U.S. with anti-smoking regulations mocked American prudery. Now, smoking has been banned in restaurants and workplaces in Ireland, Spain, France, and Italy, all nicotine-afflicted countries where smokers always felt free to light up wherever they happened to be.
Results of the no-smoking legislation are surprisingly positive, with some unexpected side issues. Italians, known for making a sport of evading laws and ordinances, humbly (and uncharacteristically) accepted the restrictions, to the point where even smokers sitting in outdoor cafes make a point of holding their cigarettes away from others and exhaling into neutral air. Spaniards have grudgingly accepted the strictures but with a lot of grousing and an inclination to violate the borders and intents of the new rules. Never mind that an estimated 700 of their countrypeople die from second-hand smoke every year.

The French have fallen in line, but with an unfortunate result: Smoking is banned inside cafes, so all the addicts have moved to the outdoor tables, spewing clouds of poisonous exhalations over non-smokers who would also like to enjoy the fresh air and people-watching. And in England, home to the quart-of-beer lunch, pub owners are trotting out the tired argument that no-smoking legislation will hurt business, glossing over the threat to the health of the 70% of their patrons who don't smoke.

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Phone Home
Most cellphones sold in the United States don't work overseas. Here's a big, fat, four-star recommendation: The Mobal World Phone. It's a universal cellphone that works in 150 countries. The cheapest model is only $49 (with tax and shipping $63.35). There are no minimum fees, service charges, or usage requirements, even if you use it just one time a year. You pay only for calls made and for voicemail (if you activate that feature). You are assigned a lifetime phone number and the phone comes with an included SIM card. No more pre-paid calling cards, no searching for ever-scarcer pay phones, no stratospheric hotel long-distance rates.

Catches? Not really. The only way you can get nailed is if you talk too long and too often. The phone can't be used within North America, but you can call the U.S. and your friends and family can call you. Setup is tricky for the severely technologically-impaired, but you can always ask your twelve-year-old to do it. For more information, go to www.mobal.com.

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