Episode 5: War Is A Hoot

"Actually, it's fun to fight. It's a hell of a hoot. It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be upfront with you, I like brawling."
- Lt. General James N. Mattis, talking about his Afganistan and Iraq duty in 2005

"I am tired and sick of war. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell."
- General William Tecumseh Sherman, addressing the graduating class of Michigan Military Academy in 1879

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Coming to market: A cellphone upon which you can view your favorite soap or reality show in real time. Sort of a virtual lobotomy.

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You know when you bang your elbow on something and it hurts like blazes? You say you hit your funny bone. Know why? That bone is called the humerus.

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The eagles are soaring over the Croton again, a month late due to the mild start of this winter. Three of them have joined our year-round red-tail hawks, one in full mature regalia, the other two still in youthful black. An osprey has joined them, and a great blue heron flew over today.
Trouble is, I can't watch them for long before flashing on the image of John Ashcroft singing his own composition, "Where the Eagle Soars." Aargh.

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Our town has become the destination of choice for hundreds of Ecuadoran immigrants. Here's a simple recipe for their national dish.

Cuy Frito
1 cuy, about 2 lbs, cleaned
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup corn oil
Quarter teaspoon cumin
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Grind the garlic to a paste with two tablespoons of water. Mix the paste with the other seasonings and rub them all over the cuy. Heat the oil in a deep-sided skillet. Fry the cuy over medium heat for 15 minutes until brown and crisp. Remove to paper towl to drain and dry. Serves 4.

Note: Cuy is guinea pig. Ecuadorans build little shacks for their cuy in their kitchens and feed them until ready for the skillet.

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If that has you considering a life change to vegetarianism, here's a good start.

Lentil Salad
Serves 6-8

First step:
2 cups minced onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound lentils, rinsed
1 2 lb. 3 oz can of crushed tomatoes
1 cup olive oil
1 cup boiling water
2 tablespoons garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 bay leaf
Second step:
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons minced garlic
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Third step:
Lemon juice to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
Chopped fresh parsley for garnish

Cook the onion in 2 tablespoons of oil until soft, not browned. Add the lentils, the canned tomatoes, the olive oil, the boiling water, the minced garlic, and the oregano, basil, thyme, and bay leaf. Stir to blend. Cook the mixture, covered, over low heat, stirring from time to time, for one hour, or until most of the liquid is gone and the lentils are soft.
Transfer the mixture to a bowl and stir in the lemon juice, minced garlic, salt and pepper. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for two hours or overnight. When ready to serve, let the salad come to room temperature. Discard the bay leaf and and lemon juice, salt, and pepper to taste. Garnish with the parsley.

You don't have to thank me.
Geezer